My journey into men’s coaching began with the end of a relationship.

It was the same old schtick:

“I’m not good enough for you"

”You deserve better”

“I can’t give you what you need”

“You’d be happier with someone else”

These were the words that I heard from several past girlfriends.

And in some instances, I’d be the one saying this to them.

What I didn’t realize was that: I was recreating the same relationship over and over again.

Sometimes I was being pushed away. Sometimes I’d be the one being pushed away.

Time and time again it would end in the same way.

After awhile you start to wonder if you’re experiencing deja vu or if the universe is just playing a cruel trick on you.

Like a real life version of Groundhog Day.

Except it wasn’t deja vu and it wasn’t the universe playing tricks on me.

It was me, doing it to myself, by my own hands.

I started to dig into research and reading books only to discover so many other people had the same experiences and outcomes that I did.

I dug in deep and realized so many of my patterns were being repeated due to my own unprocessed past experiences and behaviors.

Living on “auto-pilot” as it were.

When I understood the science behind behavior loops, how past events can dictate future expectations, and the trap of understanding, it gave me a solid direction to start doing the work.

However, the work is not easy.

Your old habits do not want you to stop.

Your past behaviors do not want to be seen.

Your mind and your body will try to protect them at all costs.

But until you start to shed light on the patterns, the loops, the cycles you’ve been living in and take actionable steps to break them, it will continue.

Until you understand your ancestral wiring and the millions of years of biology that is in play within your body, mismatched with the present day, you will continue to stay in this loop.

Once I understood how my mind works, how my brain operates, how behavior patterns function, how thoughts are formed, and how to take back control, I understood what it meant and how it looked to tolerate the discomfort of change.

Every day that I held ground against my old patterns while laying the ground for new ones, I was able to make progress in becoming the man that I wanted to be.

Every time I realized how my mind was trying to play tricks on me in order to get me to do what it wanted instead of what I wanted, I took back more control of my life.

When you start to understand your biology, your psychology, your neurology, and everything that makes you you, you start to understand how to pick up the reigns to your own system and take back control step by step until you are the one deciding your own future.

There are no shortcuts here.

It’s not easy, but it is infinitely worth it.